Picking up two years after the Egypt incident, the Autobots and their human allies discover a lost piece of Cybertronian technology which has been in human possession for several years. It is revealed that the artifact is part of an Autobot spacecraft which has crashed on the moon during the Apollo 11 mission to the Moon and carries a special technology and the legendary Sentinel Prime (Optimus Prime's old mentor). However, Sam Witwicky discovers a conspiracy by the Decepticons who plot to use it for their own evil purposes. And Optimus Prime finds that they are up against a menace who plans to also use it to enslave humanity in order to restore Cybertron.
Autobots Bumblebee, Ratchet, Ironhide, Mirage (aka Dino), Wheeljack (aka Que) and Sideswipe led by Optimus Prime, are back in action taking on the evil Decepticons, who are eager to avenge their recent defeat. The Autobots and Decepticons become involved in a perilous space race between the United States and Russia to reach a hidden Cybertronian spacecraft on the moon and learn its secrets, and once again Sam Witwicky has to go to the aid of his robot friends. The new villain Shockwave is on the scene while the Autobots and Decepticons continue to battle it out on Earth.
When I was a kid, I used to watch Godzilla movies on TV every Saturday. Those movies always had these really long, boring passages with humans fighting other humans that I&#39;d have to sit through in order to get to the good stuff: MAN IN SUIT! MAN IN SUIT! Transormers 3 is EXACTLY the same thing. Well, except for the &quot;man in suit&quot; part.<br/><br/>Godzilla movies were not known for their character development, their story lines, their nuance in dialog or deep themes. I loved them because I loved to see Godzilla do his thing. Mothra, Rodan, Ghidorah… they didn&#39;t win many movie awards in their day. I could have happily watched 90 minutes of rubber monsters duking it out. Still could, scarily enough.<br/><br/>What we have with Transformers 3 is a Godzilla movie. Only this is not some low-budget affair with practical effects. This is an over-budgeted, over-produced, CG monstrosity with a master who somehow manages to keep it on a leash! In 3-D!!! Michael Bay, one of my least-favorite directors working in A-list Hollywood these days, has made his masterpiece. This is the biggest, fastest, loudest and perhaps MEANEST 150 minutes (yes, this mofo is 2 1/2 hours long!) I&#39;ve spent in a movie theater in a long while. Bay stages action sequence after robot fight scene after explosion after pervy booty shot after another in an endless loop of adolescent ecstasy.<br/><br/>That&#39;s right, adolescent. I got real childish kick out of it. I&#39;m 35 years old. But it was similar moments in movies from when I was a kid, those initial HOLY COW-PAT moments, like seeing Mary Poppins jump into a picture or Darth Vader slice off Luke&#39;s hand or Godzilla laying the smack-down on Mecha-Godzilla, that made me the movie lover I am today! There is fully one hour of AWESOME in the movie. The other 90 minutes, the human scenes, are tripe. Lousy story (who knows what&#39;s going on?), lousy characters (it&#39;s impossible to distinguish any of the Transformers, other than the two red-and-blue ones), lousy acting, comedic moments that land with a thud, lamentable dialog. But Bay keeps his camera during these human scenes firmly trained on the supple curves of the romantic lead, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, with some vintage Bay Dirty-Old-Man Cam, and that makes the proceedings much, much easier. He clearly takes none of this seriously, which is a good thing. After all, it&#39;s a movie about ROBOTS SMASHING ROBOTS! It&#39;s not about these 90 minutes of human nonsense. It&#39;s about the other 60 full of AWESOME.<br/><br/>And what 60 they are. Robots smashing robots. Robots shooting robots. Ripping apart other robots. Blowing up other robots. Astronauts exploring alien wreckage on the moon. Serpentine robots sailing through buildings like the Loch Ness Monster. Soldiers sailing across the Chicago skyline while dastardly machines try to shoot them down… IN 3-D!!! Mindless action the likes of which we haven&#39;t seen since Toho was crushing model tanks under latex feet. On a much higher budget.<br/><br/>And let&#39;s hear it for 3-D!!! Avatar really disappointed me. Like, REALLY disappointed me. But in Transformers 3… wow, AWESOME. For 60 of the 150. (67 if you include all the 3-D booty shots.) 60 minutes, by the way, is an incredible amount of time for flat-out action in a single movie. In the Godzilla movies, you were lucky to get 20-30. Then again, those movies were half as long.<br/><br/>The first 20 minutes of Transformers 3, which tie the ensuing storyline to the first moon landing, are a tour de force of contemporary, big-budget Hollywod filmmaking: dynamic, gripping, utterly stupid, completely absorbing. Easily the best thing I have evah seen from Michael Bay. EVAHHH.<br/><br/>I hated the first Transformers movie. Hated, hated, HATED it. You couldn&#39;t PAY me to watch the second one after the unanimous HATE it got. But this one, number 3, was *exactly* what I wanted. It was like I was in my backyard with two of the original Hasbro toys in my hands, banging them together in a fight to the finish… only much, much louder.
I know, I know, I am writing this to a lot of more male fans than female but, I had to express my opinion on Transformers: Dark of the Moon. I loved the movie. Lot&#39;s of action, emotions and humor. No one does a one liner like Sam (Shia LaBeouf)and Yes, I love Sam&#39;s parents. You never know what will come out of their mouths. That is what I have come to love about all the Transformers movies. Yes, I loved T2 and still don&#39;t get why fans disliked it. But, something was missing in Transformers: Dark of the Moon and that was Megan Fox as Mikaela. Now I&#39;m am in no way saying Megan Fox is the greatest actress or anything. But, Mikaela As a character in the first 2 Transformers we knew her. We as fans got to know Mikaela and put time and heart into her as a main character. So we cared what happen to Mikaela. We knew Sam and Mikaela&#39;s feeling for each other. We cared about these characters. But whomever decided to ditch Megan Fox made a BIG mistake. We don&#39;t know this character Carly. The only thing we do know if you see the movie in 3D you will mostly only see her lips on the screen. But, Do we care if she is taken by the Decepticons? Me, No. I cared that Sam cared and that was that. You could tell that with 90% of Carly&#39;s lines someone just x&#39;ed out the name Mikaela and put Carly in it&#39;s place. Come on Sam still had Mikaela&#39;s dog Bones and her Decepticon turn autobot buddy. Carly didn&#39;t even like the autobots, she was annoyed by them in the apartment. See, Mikaela will have never acted that way. I&#39;m not trashing Rosie Huntington-Whiteley but she is no replacement for Megan Fox in the Transformers franchise. If this is truly the last of Michael Bays Transformers than I feel robbed, let down and any other word that comes to mind. We spent our money and our time getting to know and loving the relationship of Sam and Mikaela and someone in Hollywood, whether it was Bays, Fox and or Spielberg. They ruined the last movie for me. I am Lady, I like romance. I mean I loved the action and drama too but, I love/loved Sam and Mikaela and I want a T4 and I want the story fix for me.
A work of ineffable soullessness and persistent moral idiocy.
Autobots
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